Monday, October 15, 2012


Adolescence in my Daughter's Eyes

This poem, composed by my daughter Alex, made me realize how grown up she is now and her awareness of the things and changes which are happening to her as she enters her teenage years.

While it is true that more often than not, we wished for her to grow up fast when she was still small whenever she pushed our patience to the limit, we loved her just the way she was then. She gave us great joy and pure happiness with just one smile. Her trust, her dependence and her love showed me and my husband our role in this world.
And now that she is of adolescent stage, she is in for a ride of a lifetime. It will be a bumpy ride. But if I know my daughter, it will just be like a roller coaster ride in a theme park. The fear and confusion is there, but so is the excitement and thrill of going through it.The physical changes she is going through, the emotional ups and downs, the behavioral changes, I know she noticed them in herself. And it gives me great comfort to know that her being aware makes it easier for her to deal with them and to come to us for answers and moral support. Even if she is ready, she also accepts that this is the time when she needs more for us to watch over her, to hang in there with her. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.
I know I will miss the years. We both will, my daughter and I. But if I have to go through it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd raise her they way I did before, help her build her self-esteem, and to grow along with her.


My Midlife Story

My Midlife Story

Middle age is something that happens to many of us at some point during our lives. It usually occurs approximately between the ages 40 and 60 (35 and 60 in my case). It is a natural process which all of us undergo. It happens as we “mature”. A product of several factors, physiological, mental and social, it may pose problems for us if not dealt with properly.

Some people, upon reaching middle age tend to be scared and sad; resigned to the fact that they are at the end of their life. Midlife is misunderstood. This is wrong. Like adolescence, we undergo a crisis at this stage: midlife crisis. This is the second transition. It may not be easy for some as they tend to resist it; others think it is the time to recapture lost youth, while for some it is time to give up who they think they are to become who they are meant to be. As they always say, “Life begins at forty”.

While midlife gives the opportunity to enliven life and provide an opening to a whole new perspective, we either must suffer the loss, the changes, or just happily let go of the baggage we have brought into midlife and face new challenges knowing that this will result to a “new you” but still not losing the sense of who you really are. We cannot escape midlife. Resisting or even denying will only result to despair. The opportunities that come to you will just pass you by without noticing it and this will affect your future. Problems will come and go; and since you are wallowing in the pit of your misery, you will not see the positive side of things. Problems will just be problems for you, not realizing that facing them will make you stronger. We should grab hold of the fact that it is a process of becoming whole.

Midlife started early for me. It was after my grandmother died. The one who raised me as her youngest daughter since my mother (her eldest daughter) died six days after I was born. I was then thirty-seven and suddenly felt really old. Her passing brought a change in me. My age suddenly became a big issue. And then all the baggage that I have been carrying and trying hard to hide all my life resurfaced. I was angry, I was scared. For almost two years I was living a double life. I was happy on the outside, angry, scared and bitter inside. The unfathomable grief that envelops me every time her passing crosses my mind choking me, leaving me breathless, brought out a change in me; a crossover perhaps. And every time problems and disappointments beset my family, whether financial, physical l or social, the not so likeable me coming out and manifesting; in comes impatience, insecurity, sensitivity and anger; curtains down for the likeable me, Ms. Jekyll on center stage. This went on for several years. And then I realized I am losing grip of the happiness and bliss of married life. I was on the losing end here. It was time to get hold of myself.

 I since have learned to use the baggage to my advantage. All that I have gone through from childhood to pre-middle age I was strong enough to face and survive. Why not now? What difference does age make? Then I accepted the fact that I am in my middle age, though not gracefully I must say, but with a little grumbling as I feel slight pain on my joints; as I feel the need for reading glasses, the forgetfulness and the need to rest more frequently than before. 

Thinking about it, I have gone through mystifying mood swings, a rollercoaster of emotions, physical and mental pain yet here I am now unscathed and happy. It is really mind blowing how a human being can go through all these and come out, though reeling from their effects, empowered, cleansed and confident.

Yes, I am now proud to admit that I am forty-two. A very happy and contented forty-two year old wife and mother.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Everything happens for a reason. Positive or negative, we always wonder why it happened, how it happened, why me, why now, what's next. We may react negatively but in the end when we see the choices we are given to be able to do something about it, we realize that it happened to make us better persons. We may not be able to forgive or forget the cause, whoever or whatever it may be but we should remember that pain makes us see, feel and appreciate the comfort that everything and everyone around us can give. That failure puts us on the right track, that betrayal teaches us to be honest and truthful to others and to ourselves. Should i be thankful for everything that happens to me? Yes, for an almost perfect life, for an almost perfect me (almost lang. Nobody's perfect e) ....

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Last night, my husband and my daughter came home with a puppy which a friend gave them as a gift. i was happy but at the same time a little worried that our dog, Bubbles will not accept her as her new friend. the puppy's name is Ash, a gray mix German Spitz (and i don't know the other half) is a really hyperactive gray little one and luckily, Bubbles readily accepted her (except when Ash went to Bubbles' bowl and tried to eat her food that she really got mad, growled and tried to bite her head off!). Ash is so playful that she did not want to be left alone and cried until we came to her. She played until about 1 am and i was so sleepy i sneaked quietly into our room and left her in the kitchen with Bubbles. She was crying until she got tired and fell asleep. her cries woke us up today. I hope she changes her habits soon, otherwise we'll be sleeping late every night just to keep her from crying which keeps our neighbor awake too!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Monday, April 23, 2012

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Makiling Airsoft Club

The Makiling Airsoft Club

My husband is a member of the Makiling Airsoft Club .. an Airsoft Team based in Los Banos, Laguna, Philippines nestled near the legendary Mt. Makiling. The group founded in the year 2000 adheres to its principles of honor, integrity, honesty and brotherhood. The group is composed of individuals from engineers to lawyers, doctors and consultants to businessmen and students who share the same passion of playing and promoting airsoft as a Sport. Aside from fun, they also host beneficial games for target individuals.. the latest of which is the Benefit Game for Typhoon Sendong victims which hit the country in the last part of 2011. A van-load of used clothes and food stuffs were colleceted from donations of other airsoft teams in the province who participated in the event last January 2012... 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Husband

I once read an article that says “The search for the ideal husband is an eternal one! The truth is that it is rare in life that any one thing or person turns out to be “ideal” and choosing words like reasonable, amicable, livable, satisfying and acceptable would be better terms with which to describe your husband. If you can find a man you can live with; you are in luck!” Am I the lucky one!!!! I found a man I can live with, and happily at that. He may not be perfect but the term ideal is not enough to describe him that sometimes I wonder whatever I did that God gave him to me as a reward. 

Contrary to my observations on other couple friends of ours, I feel lucky he hasn’t changed. Nothing’s changed, kid, financial and life struggles and all. Respect and honesty has always been and I’m sure will always be there between us. Communication between us has never been better and more open now that we have a teenage daughter, which also helps her become a person of good character who knows how and when to speak her mind.

He may not be a pillar of cleanliness and organization but I accept his “A cluttered home is a happy home” attitude. Of course we don’t want a messy house but whenever we do something at home, whether for work or recreation, we enjoy doing it knowing that the mess that results from them is a symbol of an accomplishment that we are proud and happy to have achieved.

Husbandry takes a very special man who is willing to give and take equally. My husband may not the best-looking man i ever dated but they he sure is the nicest, always making me and our daughter’s happiness and contentment a priority.